Steady in the Storm: A Birthday Letter to the Man Who Saved Us

This man—my husband, my rock, my calm in the chaos—deserves every ounce of love today. While not everyone knows the full story, this past year has been brutal. The battle of all battles. The narcissist finally went to war, showing his true colors. And now, the culmination: family court looms next week.

While the narcissist is fighting to “win,” I’m fighting for something far more important: the safety, peace, and happiness of my children. Seeing them thrive is what keeps me going. And Daniel Holmes—my husband—has done more to support that mission than I could have ever imagined.

Daniel is patient and grounded, kind and steady. He is the yin to my anxious yang. When I spiral, he’s there to remind me I’m stronger than I think. Over the past year and a half, he’s helped me build boundaries, hear my inner voice, trust my own intelligence, and—perhaps hardest of all—see my worth. All of that… because of him.

Jack, my quiet, protective 14-year-old, has found something rare with Daniel: trust. Jack has always been my reserved, mama’s-boy shadow. No one ever cracked that shell—until Daniel. Now, they’re inseparable: golfing, playing lacrosse and Xbox, watching hockey, talking football, and obsessing over Clash Royale and Monopoly Go. I’ve become the third wheel in my own home, and I love it. Jack no longer has to be on guard constantly. He no longer feels like he has to protect us in our own hom. That lightness in him is something I never even knew to pray for.

Emmie is sharp and intuitive. She doesn’t let people in easily, and she can smell insincerity from a mile away. But she sees Daniel for who he is: real, loving, safe. They play “Dress to Impress” (DTI), and her friends call him “Good Dad.” She trusts him with her deepest thoughts, and knows he’ll always be in her corner.

Cam lights up when he sees Daniel—running into his arms, excited for Fortnite or a football toss. Cam has never felt “less than” around D, which is not the norm for Cam. Daniel listens. He makes time. And for Cam, that’s everything, because that is all that he has ever wanted.

Aspen, my dramatic firecracker, meets her match in Daniel’s saint-like patience. When I’m overwhelmed by her tenth meltdown of the day, he grounds us both. Today, for his birthday, she asked to buy him a specific lollipop he always jokes is his favorite. She also hand-drew him golf pictures and made him a gift bag with his favorite candy. She sees him—because he’s always made her feel seen too.

Audrey is just three, but even she has opinions—and she adores Daniel. He’s the only person, besides me, that she’ll let unbuckle her car seat. She always asks if he’s coming, always wants him around, and when he accidentally knocked her over recently, she went to him for comfort. Anyone who’s parented a three-year-old knows what a big deal that is.

People often ask me, “Why would anyone want to be with you, knowing you have five kids?” I don’t have the perfect answer. But I know this: we were blessed. God knew exactly what we needed—what I needed—and sent us Daniel.

Now, we prepare for the hardest week of our lives. But I know we’ll get through it—with the best man beside me, kids I’d go to war for, and a support system that gives me strength.

Happy birthday to the incredible man we get to call ours. I’m sorry we rushed your crab legs tonight—we just couldn’t wait for the ice cream cake! I hope we get to celebrate many, many more of your birthdays… together.